The narrative will arc, I promise

One day I woke up and the toilet was clogged (I know, these posts get better and better, but the hook here is about how I live alone and without even a regular boy visitor for the first time like, ever in my life, so I have to do all those stupid blue jobs like killing silverfish and unclogging drains and arguing with delivery men) which - the toilet being clogged - is a matter of some urgency since I can't even pee until I get that ish sorted out, and I have to go to work and get on with my life (and pee). So I went downstairs to the hardware store and bought a plunger and then came back upstairs and found a video on the internet to explain to me how to unclog a toilet. Step 1 was to wrap lots of towels around the base of the toilet bowl, and step 2 was to reach into the toilet bowl and "bail out some of the liquid." Well, I only have three cups and two towels because I am so effing poor so I just showered, left for work, and called the landlord with a story about how valiantly I had tried to unclog the toilet myself but sadly failed and could they send the super around 4. When he arrived I made sure the plunger I had bought was very conspicuously placed in the bathroom (price tag removed, of course) and that I was really hard at work in the kitchen and not laying on the bed watching Judge Judy and eating leftover Mexican food.