Saturday, October 17, 2009

SMS Highlight Reel, vol. 25: Dating

On my way to my dinner date and i feel like fucking puking

I told my friend at suny that im going to spep for sex and he said all the conferences are unhandsome sausage fests!

secretly, I want to sing to you and make you cry

Apparently they are clueless! One does not wear a skin tight dress or pass out in a guys bed for naught

just went on the WORST 45 min date. mf tried 2 kiss me 4 times! he wasn't ugly but c'mon. i don't know if i can stomach anymore serial dating*

Well, me too. Dinner was delicious, and, well, I really like being around you.

Yes. Dress sexy. If it changes anything I'm high too.

I asked my ethics class. They say tell the truth. I say make excuses why u can't hang until he gets the hint

Somehow, the filthy things you say make you a big sweetheart

I'll wear the shoes

Nothing should be more important to you than last minute movie plans initiated by me.

I was put into a position. didn't want to seem like leaving WITH you. I'll call if your still up

He just ate my fucking face in a cab*

Oh nothing. Just what's a guy like me without false pretenses?

donde? una bebida?

I've been enjoying this long courtship.

Go to dinner with me tomorrow night.

home now whenever you're ready to roll up. proseco waiting if so desired

Come. Just a plain ticket. You have no reason to be devastated. You're amazing. I'm a boy who knows it. Just come.

Glad you made me stay, but I wish you were here.

Say no more. I LIVE for words like those! Besides, midnight rendez(s)-vous with hot ladies is kinda my thing.

I want you to be my date tonight. You won't regret it.

exactly. well it just says, "I love you"

*This must be stopped.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


Continuing with the theme of having everything delivered to your door, another New York must-have is NetFlix. For you Canadians, NetFlix is a movie rental delivery service. Depending on your subsription level, you can have one, two, or five movies delivered to your mailbox at a time, an unlimited number of times per month. They come with postage paid return envelopes. You rate movies and it recommends others you might like. I'm basically using it as a romantic comedy generator. It is SO great.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Brooklyn Psychosis

is the name of your next band.

No, listen. On the corner of Nevins and Schemerhorn in Brooklyn, there is a boarded up empty lot. Someone with a jiffy marker (no, three jiffy markers: one blue and one black and one red) is slowly filling up that blank plywood with a perfect illustration of psychosis. Words. Numbers. Places. Names of organizations. Simple equations. Ten equals eight. No, ten equals ten. Fischer (with a "c"). The telephone number for the New York Times. Canada. North Korea. Albany. 489841. 3 stars athens. The book of Corinthians. The book of genesis. UBS Fian Service. 8897889. 89996. Sex. 986659. Michelle Jackson. Toys - food - sneakers. Do not move. Wrong way. We want in.