On pigeons
So there are lots of pigeons, even in the winter, right? ("right" = "eh") Because birds don't migrate for warmth; they migrate for food. And there is plenty of hot dog and pretzel detritus on the streets of New York 365 days a year.
The other day, friend is walking down the street, and he sees a pigeon feasting inside a discarded take-out box. When he gets closer, he looks inside and sees that it contains fried chicken.
...
It took me a while to get it, too.
So these piegoens waddle down the sidewalk, full of chicken and hot dogs and pretzels, and sure, they'll concede the right of way, cuz you've got boots on, but be damned if they're actually going to fly to get out of your path. I used to sort of hesitate and give them time to clear the road, because it seemed like they were moving so slowly that I might actually kick one. But then I decided that made me a big non-New York wimp, and now I force myself to keep pace. It hasn't happened yet...
7 comments:
The beloved flying rat. A species spawned solely by humans being wasteful. Just be sure to keep the score even. One deliberate, foot numbing head stomp for every instance you're glad cows don't fly. And if you ever manage to nail a straggler take it home cause they go good with curry.
That's horrible. They say to be very wary of people who are cruel to animals...I'll never forget the time you ran over a snake on purpose in the Foret de Soigne. I'm still upset about it.
Mom
I remember when you took a screwdriver to minnows so their eyes would sludge out of their heads.
Yes it's fun being at the top of the food chain.
Oh MAN did I laugh my ass off at Christian's comments! You have pigeons, we have stray dogs. Big ones. I'm not totally confident of my place at the top of the chain anymore...
It was a little toy shovel, Kate. Trying to stab darty minnows in a bucket of water with a screwdriver is not like shooting fish in a barrel.
You took the screwdriver to them once you had already fished them out of the bucket. I totally remember the way the eyes oozed out, like those plastic "dolls" that had playdough hair - you pushed the bottom up and the hair oozed out of holes on their heads. Just like that.
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