Wednesday, February 06, 2008

And for a brief moment, the impostor syndrome relinquished her brain

I nevvvver sleep. Today this fact hit me like a brick at about one o'clock. I was at work, and I just initialed my timesheet and left. I still hadn't finished preparing my lecture, so I went across the hall to the computer lab. I scraped together some examples and made a handout, and then my conscience gave me permission to just leave it at that, and I called Grace and went for a coffee instead.

I have to tell you, I have sat through a lot of lectures in my life. And I am really very good at what I do. Every one of my students looks me in the face for two whole hours, even the shiftless attitudinal ones. When I ask a question, more than half of them offer an answer. And when the clock hits 5:50 (or :54, as it did today), no one even gestures at packing up until I stop talking.

I've done a shitty job at lecturing in the past, and there are always ups and downs, but I need to underprepare more often, because I can do this.

3 comments:

Christian said...

Two women go on a five day vacation. One fills every drawer in the hotel room with the contents of the four suitcases she brought. The other tosses her rollerboard on the bed and makes a B-line for the pool. Which woman are you?

M said...

I'm in my underwear watching tv on the bed, drinking a bottle of wine from the liquor store down the street (cheaper).

Anonymous said...

I hear that's how some people spend their visit in New York.
Mom