An Open Letter to Padma Lakshmi

Just because I really like your Top Chef show and follow it religiously, and for that matter like all of those Bravo reality shows, as I may be constitutionally required to do so being both a resident of New York and a New School student (Inside the Actor's Studio was filmed in the same building I teach in did you know?), does not mean that you can eye-fuck my date for the sketch comedy show while I am standing right next to him. Twice.