TL; DR

As Kate said, "In three cities, at three desks, three siblings stared at excel files..."

[Christian] For the love of Pete and his butterfly-catching minions get back to work you girls!

[Kate] You're bizarre.

Actually, I'm plugging away at this cellular audit. I have to hand it over to someone else on Monday and I want it to look halfway decent. I think I can get the doc itself looking tidy but, since it's an audit, I've kept all of the incoming emails with info pertinent to my project and that's just one big clusterf*k to hand over. IT suggsted printing everything up. That could be 1000 pages long. Perhaps I'll just copy/paste it all in a word doc and email him that. That was he can even ctrl+f to look for certain numbers or names.

[Me] Christian can help you with ways to condense and/or make look pretty.

[Christian] Tell him he can go ctrl+f himself! He he. It's okay to type FUCK, Kate. Everybody does it. Does your server filter filthy files the fifth time? Another cool tool is your autofilters. They give you drop down menus that allow you to choose to view only certain data. Data -> Filter -> AutoFilter. It's useful for finding stuff fast. It will also allow you to set up custom views like, show me, of this list of numbers, only those numbers between 15 and 20. Or, any number that contains the sequence "230".

[Me] I am knee deep in Excel also. This is my 4th last day here. Or 5th.

[Christian] To condense, boil until thick with cover off. Wait, that's reducing. Uhh, make your font size for the entire sheet 1.5. Well that's kind of reducing too. Just tell your boss that his cell phones are a giant clusterfuck. Wait, that's summarizing. When you print it, print it on flowery stationary, that'll pretty-ize it.

[Kate] Was it seasonal employement or have you decided to quit ('cuz working three jobs is bullshit)?

Pff. Working ONE job is bullshit.

Yeah! So is brushing your teeth! I like to skip that every four days.

Starting in September, I will be teaching three classes, taking three, and working at the stationery store.

Gotta do watcha gotta do. They should make pit stick for teeth. Like a shower in a bottle.

They do - Listerine pocket packs.

Oh yeah, totally. K, now just need shower in a bottle for feet.

What do you get paid for teaching? Is it enough for NY rent?

Wanna see my giant bitch bruise I got from taking a hard line drive in the shoulder while pitching? I can picture message it to you guys.

Show us your bruise.

On it's way. I've never had a bruise like this before. The dead blood just continues to run down my arm. It looks like the chernobyl aftermath, where the soil isn't arable for 300 years.

That's a doozy. How come you're sleeveless at work?

There was some article at the beginning of summer about how to wear mini-shorts at work. My response was, "You don't; they're inappropriate." I think they should remain inappropriate, whatever the fashion. Women can't wear miniskirts or short-shorts and men can't wear sleeveless shirts or open shirts or short-shorts.

Nice bruise, and nice description.

I get paid [redacted] for one teaching job, [redacted] for another, and [redacted] for another. Rent is [redacted], so about [redacted]% of my monthly income, leaving me with $1119.50 per month for subway tokens, electricity, food, toiletries, internet, phone, and screwing around.

Wow. So I'll make more than you for teaching high school plus I won't be paying tuition and my mortgage will be cheaper.

Envy, decreasing...

I just pulled up my sleeve to take the picture, silly.

We should do a collaborative 3 way blog. Each taking turns writing a paragraph to comprise a single entry then we'll all post the same finished product.

That is an excellent idea.