A little death and a little grief

So Todd moved. Not too far from where he was living, but as I have explained, that makes a big difference: everything (deli, dry cleaner, hardware store) is everywhere, so the city is big internally, and your life and your routine become very local. Which means that in moving he is (I am) leaving a whole world behind: Zahadi's and that incredible green grocer on Atlantic, Borough Hall subway stop and the quiet walk down State Street. And a certain neighbour - speaking of locality, the most rooted man I have ever seen. A hobo, in the old fashioned sense (minus the transience) - he simply lives outside. In fact, he lives on a very small stretch of a certain street; for all intents and purposes he has an address. I most often see him outside the funeral parlour, I think it's because the reception area looks like a living room, and the lights are always on inside. He's not always there, but you're not always at home either. And he has, for all intents and purposes, a job: he sweeps the sidewalk and binds the newspapers and sorts through the trash. I think the neighbourhood takes care of him - I know he's welcome at the bodega on the corner. Sandwiches and coffee and newspapers? One time we tried to offer him a slice of our pizza, having needlessly bought a whole pie (cuz if you ask the pizzeria for their abandoned orders at the end of the night they will sell them to you for cheap), and he declined, politely, explaining that he had just had a sandwich, he was really full, thank you, he just finished it now.

After a year and a half, we knew the looks of each other, and I would acknowledge him if he looked up. The thing is, he is most often looking down, in fact hunched very close to the ground - sometimes I think he sweeps just so that he can lean over - sometimes he even just stands there and slowly lowers himself to the ground, rocking, trying to sink into the earth - not drunk, not altered, more like Oedipus, like he is carrying the burden of a profound grief or regret, and he is waiting to be taken away by the gods, relieved.