SMS Highlight Reel, vol. 26

I an drunk.

"come meet the majority leader"

You, me, cab? Yes No
(circle one*).
*note: failure to circle means yes.

I want you to know that the suspense is killing me.

What is the grounding principle of the first critique, again? (purposiveness is the grounding principle of the third)

Where you at? I'm outside your door with a half dozen roses.

AfterPARTy. Gonna pick a fight with kid rock

Guess what? Bill fucking Murray was at Loup last night. My co-workers talked to him.

Jeez woman, you ever deliver good news? It's always stuff like "The Times thinks you're a terrorist" or "Guess what? I'm on my period."

Holy shit there's going to be a lot of cheese and crackers there tonight. and i mean that both literally and in the derogatory and racist way.

Je vous ...? 4 letters.

THIS IS GOING TO KILL ME

i bow to your talent to slip in a fucking BOMB.

Omg! That is him! Holy shit!

I say "claro que si" though I can't get the netflix in time I don't think

Collin robinson just launched a new house and the first book is on Sarah Palin. Plus he apparently throws great parties.

Me too! Its been forevs! Im scared we will giggle all through class since all the giggles have been pent up

I cant tell if thats a sad cry or a cry me a river cry

Eh yo brooklyn eh

1458 your mom ave. Your Mom, YM 696969

Omg. I just met two of the cutest guys. They told me to come by 9th st coffee house. I told them I studied phil & they didn't flinch, it's on. We should go

Way to be! Way to be!

Am seeing [name] tonight. I am a weak, weak woman lol. How's the paper?

guy died on my train

You tell me if this comes across as impassioned or perfunctory: wanna get drunk and fool around?

We meeting for gut bombs or what?

Sawed off shotgun should be fine. It's right above the bedford nostrand G stop.

This text message warrants no response from me. I walked through the SNOW.

You are the worst kind of human being. Is the date with the 23-year-old tonight? P.S. You're gonna intimidate the Jaegermeister outta him.

IM PUMPED TO GET PUMPED

I am lurking on g-mail chat.

Listen, do you want me to be pretty or do you want me to be not pretty? Because i can come not pretty. Actually that's a lie i would never do that.

On my way. Dont drink anymore til i get there!

So [name] came home with me last night. We still on for pilates?

We're cabbing over. Where is wine?

Wait til u see the video