Boots

Remember this story? Now I have to call all cobblers "shoe jews." Then Grace gets made at me. Even though she started it.

Anyway, I took my boots to the shoe jew around the corner, because they were too wide in the calf, and I was pretty sure he was going to tell me "I can't change the width of the calves of a pair of leather boots are you effing crazy?" but instead he just said "fifty dollars" to which I tartly (no, not tartly... piteously) replied "forty" and he said "forty-five." The next day he called because they were ready already, and I raced over and they had been transformed. I put them on and paid and immediately ran home to see what they looked like, except not home because I don't have a full-length mirror, but to the mirrored panel on the side of the sex shop next door. Perfect.

Study time. With hot dogs

SSSSSSSSSSh

My radiator makes really loud noises. Boiling and hissing noises - REALLY loud. When people come over, they stop what they're doing and look around and ask What the hell is that? And I have to roll my eyes and pretend to be annoyed and say "It's the stupid radiator, I know can you believe it?" I used to get woken up several times a night, now I have learned to ignore it, though it does incorporate itself into my dreams, usually as some disaster or emergency which I am unable or unwilling to respond to.

If this place ever catches on fire or some shit goes down in the middle of the night, I'm so going to roll over and sleep right through it.

Fashion Party

So my friend invited me to some designer's end-of-year holiday bash, which meant I had to go and buy all new clothes, since I dress like I am

• homeless, and
  
• twelve.

I went to Century 21, because it is close by, even though the slow-moving tourists and the interminable lines and the obstinately uncooperative (read: grossly underpaid) staff make me want to cut someone's head off. But I ended up finding the perfect little Calvin Klein coat for super cheap, and some perfectly ridiculous shoes, which were so uncomfortable and teeteringly high that within 20 minutes of arriving at the party I had to grip the walls as I minced around, making me look like a lush.  It didn't matter though, because the entire party was pretty drunk, with the free booze disappearing fast while the lavish food spread remained completely untouched.  Natch. Eventually I found a third glass of champagne and a nice settee on the penthouse's terrace, took my shoes off and got a foot rub, and forgot all about how inadequate the 20-ish fashionistas make me feel.

Six days of social hangover

I don't blog about my lost weekends, cuz no one needs to hear about that ish. All we do is get altered and talk about German idealism anyway. Which is what we talk about all the time, but when we're drunk we're more convinced of our points.

Last Friday's potluck house party, however, was something else. Luckily none of us remember much about each others' obnoxiousness. Although now I have some kind of mouth perdition - a fat lip and a swollen gum, maybe paying back my intransigence about Hegel and the outside.

I brought chicken.

Vulnerable to assassins

My coffee guy only bothers to collect from me every couple of days, and the security guard at work gets offended if I try to show him my ID. Upstairs in my office the admin and I wait for the bosses to leave for their budget meeting. Then she watches I Love New York and I write term papers. At 12:30 we grab lunch from the deli across the street. I get spicy tofu and green beans and pollock.

SMS highlight reel, vol. 7

[____] just put an E in his butt.

Mkay maybe we can go get a drink or four. i miss you terribly ma dear. coffee cigs and sex gossip is lagging in my life since our separation.

The english language is a bit like an autopsy on a tranny crack whore; I just manipulate the sample.

Tu es Aimee!

I'm thinkin of tryin this drinkin fad. And you?

I'm so effing glad to be a high functioning depressed person.

Mr. Noodle and a grapefruit.

Allah?

So i passed out on the train and got saved by an evangelical christian- how appropriate is that? amen.

Calculus. Pilates. Eating. Darwinism and emergent complexity. Lookin for a job. Welding. Not fucking. That's about it.

Ugh dont know if ill make it up to study tmrw, just gettin home now. ill cak u when im up [4:45 am]