And for a brief moment, the impostor syndrome relinquished her brain
I nevvvver sleep.  Today this fact hit me like a brick at about one o'clock.  I was at work, and I just initialed my timesheet and left.  I still hadn't finished preparing my lecture, so I went across the hall to the computer lab.  I scraped together some examples and made a handout, and then my conscience gave me permission to just leave it at that, and I called Grace and went for a coffee instead. I have to tell you, I have sat through a lot of lectures in my life.  And I am really very good at what I do.  Every one of my students looks me in the face for two whole hours, even the shiftless attitudinal ones.  When I ask a question, more than half of them offer an answer.  And when the clock hits 5:50 (or :54, as it did today), no one even gestures at packing up until I stop talking.
I have to tell you, I have sat through a lot of lectures in my life.  And I am really very good at what I do.  Every one of my students looks me in the face for two whole hours, even the shiftless attitudinal ones.  When I ask a question, more than half of them offer an answer.  And when the clock hits 5:50 (or :54, as it did today), no one even gestures at packing up until I stop talking.  
I've done a shitty job at lecturing in the past, and there are always ups and downs, but I need to underprepare more often, because I can do this.
 

3 comments:
Two women go on a five day vacation. One fills every drawer in the hotel room with the contents of the four suitcases she brought. The other tosses her rollerboard on the bed and makes a B-line for the pool. Which woman are you?
I'm in my underwear watching tv on the bed, drinking a bottle of wine from the liquor store down the street (cheaper).
I hear that's how some people spend their visit in New York.
Mom
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